Inspired by a recent vlog from Connor Franta (Why I Never Had Boyfriends) and Arden Rose (Why I  Never Had Girlfriends), I realized that it is quite relatable with my life these past months, or year.

Not that I hate my own gender nor femininity, I do have my girl squad as well, but after high school I was just surprised with how girls friendship works.



Back then in my high school, with my girl friends we spend most of our times talking about food, making crazy jokes, being silly, planning for our dream vacation and recent news from Hollywood. Maybe it was because most of my close girl friends were boyish, or we already spent years being friends, but here in Uni, it is so different and I found it more complicated I finally understand why guys thinks girls are complicated.

When I only joke around or stating my logic, some girls just got offended and thinking that I was rude. When I talk directly or straightforwardly, some girls just think that I am impolite, but when others don't say it directly, girls thought they were backstabbed or betrayed. It just confuses me how they ask people to tell them directly but get hurt when people do that. I also having a hard time trusting girls because they talk about something in front of you and talking about it differently on your back. There are times as well that some girls are telling different stories with what was happening in reality.

I also feel that girls created much more dramas. Sometimes they could get mad at someone just because of a little things, and this hatred could go on for a hella LONG time. I also just learn in Uni that girls expect their friends to be on their side no matter what, and hate people who they themselves also hate. It's hard for me because I got used to be objective and I think that it is wrong to be on someone's side when you think what they are doing is not right. Even though you are my friend, when you are wrong I will not defend you and instead just say it honestly in front of you, and my mom said this could become a trouble if I am friends with girls who demanded loyalty 24/7. I also can't hate people if they did nothing to me, and therefore can't hate people just because my girl friends hate them.

Aside from my close bestfriends, I find it more comfortable to hang out with guys, because they don't conceal the fact and we can just talk directly with each other. They also rarely do gossips and I could trust them with my rants and secrets. Guys rarely become sensitive just because of what I did or said, and sometimes when they play games or talk about cars, I can just keep silent and it is okay for them. My boyfriend and guy friends also give the best advice sometimes, they are willing to listen and understand and directly to the point in giving the solution, and it makes me comfortable because I don't have to get stuck in a drama or a problem for a long time. Moreover, even though sometimes guys joke around calling me fat, but I don't get uncomfortable when I eat a lot, because they did too. And I don't have to feel like I have to eat salads and veggies and counting calories.

Again, I am not saying that all girls are mean and annoying and all bad things, and I am not saying that being female is a bad thing. Just because some girls are making you uncomfortable, doesn't mean that all girls are like that and we can't stereotype a person just based on the gender. I love hanging out with girls sometimes, when we can just shop and talk about clothes and K-dramas and I love how girls can relate so well to the way I feel about stuffs. I love how some girls were nurturing and cares so much about their friends, and some girls were crazy like real crazy and not playing pretend. I still love my mom and my girl friends so much, and I am not planning to stop only until these rants about this small population of mean girls, but I wish WE could all learn something from this. I believe woman should empower one another, instead of bringing each other down. I believe woman should stop hating on each other and talk about each others' back. I believe woman should be able to tell others when they are wrong, and accepting other's advice and critics as well.

I also wish that us girls could learn more to become a wise woman, in a way that no matter what people tell behind our backs, and no matter what nasty rumour said about us, let us learn to just.. try to be a little more positive. When that happens, all we can do is only 1) Confront people or 2) Close our own ears and be ignorant because we can't just control other people's mouth or brains. After all, if what people said is wrong, time will soon reveal the truth. If you feel that the rumour is wrong, just keep being good and be yourself, instead of making matters worse by persuading people to be on your side. Or maybe start being the one who do kindness, who forgives and if possible, forget. "We can't control the filters that others choose when they look at us". Spread love, not hate; easier said than done, I know; but let us slowly learn together.